Sunday, February 15, 2015

X!

-The Letter X-
            You heard me right, Reader- the letter X is not just a letter, it’s a living, breathing organism.
            Tell me, Reader, have you ever wondered why there are so few words with the letter X in them? It’s because the mighty letter X is highly selected of the words it chooses. More than a simple creature, it is a thought entity, transcending time and space to add coolness to whatever it deems worthy. Come on, only the coolest words have the letter X. Oxen? Yeah, those things are tough as gruff. Xylophone? Look out, skeleton coming through. Xtreme? Is there any word cooler than Xtreme? The answer is no.
            The power of the letter X is so great in fact that some skilled masters in Xmancy (the art of manipulating the letter X to increase coolness) use it in their day to day lives to help them with school, work, and play.

            Ask yourself, which of the following is cooler?:
            Secret project names: Project B OR PROJECT X?
            For online usernames: Assass1nboi02 OR XAssxaznbo02X?
            Personal names: Zavior OR XaViOrX
            Code names: Miki OR X
            Business names: Manny’s pie shop OR ULTRAXxXDEATHPIE33ZXXX
            Special attacks: Crimson Blade Death OR XxBlXdXxX99
           
            The difference should be obvious- the letter X, when masterfully woven with capital letters, alternating cases, and the last two digits of your birth year makes everything objectively, overwhelmingly cooler.
            You too can know of this power. So embrace the Xtremeness of the letter X, and you will be rewarded with being the coolest, edgiest, most crimson death edge doom death person you know! All your middle-school friends will be so jealous to find out how cool and grown up you are! ~Awwwww!~