Sunday, November 30, 2014

The Great and Radical-Awesome Animal ABCS - D

-D is for Dinosaurs-
                                Let’s not lie here, dinosaurs are sweet. Let’s go over some of the indisputables.
            Dinos have/can:
-Out-dance any other animal
            -100% protection from meteors/extinction
            -Teach kids typing, ABCs, and 123s
            -Go on adventures in lands before time
            -Love soaring around in airplanes
            -Spend most of their time eating each other while screaming super loud
Really, what’s not to love here?

Now, I know a lot of people try to tell you that dinosaurs were all different shapes and sizes and stuff- I’ll tell you right now that that’s a bunch of hooey. Dinosaurs are magical, four-horned creatures that have AK-47s for face, walk on crab legs, and can fly with their majestic, magical wings.

Yes, there are lots of bones in the ground that these scientists call dinosaurs, what they’re missing here is that these are actually the dinosaurs victims. When you don’t pay off your daily dino-tax in a dino-infested area, you’re going to get a scary, nasty visit from the “Scale Gang”; a huge group of dino thugs that love to shake you down for your delicious yogurt (all dinosaurs are dairivores) and then murder you. It’s pretty crazy stuff, but there’s a way out. They’ll pass their wrath over you and display mercy if you wear an official Scale Gang T-Shirt (now just $15.99 at participating retailors) Get yours today!