Monday, February 9, 2015

Not resting on these laurels... Nope, not these ones I'm sitting on right now!

Hey, Reader!

Great news, Paper is a resounding success. I mean, it's hard for something that's free to not be massively consumed, but boyo, I'm getting lots of blog traffic, downloads, and all that jazz! Thanks everyone!

Onto the true purpose of this announcement, however- I'm writing-on and almost done with a project I've started back in November. Remember those Radical ABCs? Well, good news, it's coming to all your favorite ebook providers, purely yours, and purely free! (Well, unless it's on I can make it free there, but it takes a little bit longer ;-; )

Here's a small taste of what to expect. It's meant to be a humor-via-misinformation book about animals, and some non-animals, and their corresponding first letters... I think I made that sound more complicated than it needed to be, Reader. I'll just post this bit and hope it gives you a good idea:

-R is for Raccoons-
            In the high-class business world, sometimes you just need someone who can get things done-the kind of capable go-getter that’ll start and finish the fight with or without permission. Whether you need an investor, lawyer, assassin, banker or super spy, the Racoon’s your animal.
            Raccoons are bred to be the elitist of elite animals, who are at a young age placed in those fancy boarding schools in England that you see in TV shows and movies and such. They ride horses, speak with British accents, travel in blue police boxes, and generally British it up during their training as the classiest people in the world, MI6 agents.
            If you’re wondering if a raccoon has been trained to perform like the elite, just look around shadily as if you have some awesome secret to keep from the Raccoonian government, and hold your hand to your ear as if you had a transmitter. If successful, the nearest raccoon will probably do something cool and spy-like. Shooting off a flare or talking on its little ear talkie, or breaking your neck- you know, spy stuff.
            Raccoons, whether they employ as businessmen or politicians, are all spies for the Raccoonian government. If you’re a president, overlord or ruler of some sort, you would be well-advised to get up with the Racoonians ASAP. If you don’t, they’re likely to see you as an enemy and have you monitored by their skilled viewcoons… N-not that they’d really do that or anything! The Racoonians love humans! Hail Racconia!

            …I’m being watched.


And there you have it, Reader! Much more of this to come, so keep an eye on the blog. Keep in touch and let me know if you have any specific requests for animals you'd like me to do.

Much probably non-sexual love,
Kell Inkston