Sunday, November 23, 2014


Yarr maties! Time for some more more poetry. This go around I wanted to explore how another culture would view one of our modern age objects. Y-yes I've been found out, I do play video games. I love you, Reader.

Heretical Devices of Satanic Array
Kell Inkston
                I open the next box of items procured from the dig site, but not before a brief prayer of protection over my weak, sinful heart.
                The first object is small, just smaller than my hand, tablet-shaped and has a cool, glossy touch, as if it were made of some sort of obsidian glass. Its center is pitch black, I can only imagine what sort of sorceries are contained inside, for among the runes, one is still glowing, betraying some dark power held within. It is covered in markings of such unintelligible array, but under the glowing rune is the one symbol I can recognize, the ancient symbol of heretical power; an ancient  belief for a barbaric society. They believed they could contain and use demons to charge their horrific devices.
I cannot yet comprehend this object’s purpose, but I shudder to think what dark reasons they used it for.
Upon smelling and (tree forgive) tasting the object, I note nothing of interest, a typical trait for their sorceries. After feeling the tablet a bit, I find there is a small part of it that I can press into, and out pops what seems to be an insert of some sort. I jolt back, wait a moment in shock, and then gradually ease back to my seat. The cartridge, covered with more demonic runes, depicts what seems to be a man in red, leaping high over all sorts of unspeakable, deformed monstrosities.
I’m certain now, this device is used for casting spells. One of the ancient heathens would place their selected spell into the tablet, and use it as a medium for casting.
Tree forgive their unprecedented witchery.
I’m almost done before I place it in the burn pile, but its design is so peculiar, I can’t help but think I’m missing something.
By the vines, yes! There is a crack to the side, it seems as though it opens like a book! I will do this, and report my findings after five prayers to the great tree.
My final observations were steeped in horror. Upon opening the tome thought to be tablet, arcane runes of unbelievable satanry flashed before my eyes. I saw dozens of people trapped inside the singular, moving pages of the book’s ethereal void.
This is the most terrifying thing I’ve laid eyes on, after smashing the tablet into pieces, I quickly found a translator and he read the largest set of runes on the now-destroyed tome.
“Nintendo 3DS” he called it.

Tree save us from this evil.